black and white?

Being a couple of mixed race marriage, we tend to attract some attention wherever we go and people tend to remember us simply because.. well... we are *different.  We have gotten quite used to it and it has presented some memorable (funny) moments with the people we encounter.

I remember the time when we had just come back (early 90s) after living in the America for almost 10 years (exile), a place where people are usually more sensitive to such ‘color’ issues and are quite careful what they say…. at least in front of you.



It was Chinese New Year and it was our 1st year back in Malaysia, so we did the usual customary visiting to one of my father’s friends who lived in Kepong Baru, which was ( and still ) quite a Chinese area. This man had some influence over my earlier days as he was the one who taught me pugilism (shao-lin kung fu) when I was young-er (ahem) ; I was his ardent student.

And so it was proper that I should pay the usual respects to the now old man (in his late 80s), visited with him and introduced my wife to him.

After gesturing to us to sit I heard him say to himself “ uhr..m ..yat kor ngap .. yat kor kai..) The direct translation is “one is duck and one is chicken.” Hilarious, but he was not making a joke either.. (omg)

I did not tell Linda as it would have been a spoiler for the day, but it was the first time we had be referred to as ‘duck and chicken’. How you like dat?   I've been called quite some many things before … but a duck? Or was it chicken?

Well, I didn’t ask.

One other time was when we were in a coffee shop. As is common during lunch hour when the masses throng the limited available seats and free seating is the order of the day. I had already gotten my plate of food in my hand and was making my way over to where Linda was already seated and tucking in her meal. At the same table with her was a Chinese woman ( auntie late 40s) who was just looking hard at her  and like,  really studying her face, and poor Linda was pretending not to notice. And so I took my seat with them and observe a while..

We are quite used to people giving polite glances, but this was a full on stare. So I decided I needn't  be  too polite to hide my stare (at her) either. So I was watching her 'watch' Linda closely. It must have been a full half minute or so when she suddenly realized I was watching her studying my wife’s face. Suddenly embarrassed, and sensing perhaps my relationship with this Indian woman was more than just sharing a table… she smiled at me and blurted out  Eh .. leh low bor ah ( your wife ah?)

I smile, didn't answer … instead asked .. Lang – moh  (beautiful or not ?!!!)

And Linda’s eyes open wide horrified….obviously linguistically aware 

She shot back, true to form . . spoken with typical Chinese sarcasm … Kan hai ler.. Erm Mai Leh Oi –AAAH  (of course lah !!. otherwise would you (have) want-(ed)?!! )

Some laughs. .

(Linda quite embarrassed and probably have denied knowing me .. ).

My most memorable was an encounter with a friend whose name is bro Mani. (an Indian whose name has been truncated otherwise it would be too much of a mouthful). We met once a week and because we both played guitar we were on the worship team for the lunchtime Full Gospel Businessmen meetings on Fridays. Over the period of a couple of years we’ve grown to see and know each other.

Mani’s problem was that he had a friar’s patch that was growing (baldin the top) and at that time I had a solution which claimed to put hair on your chest and elsewhere too. And so we decided to meet and introduce this product to him and since it was somewhat a business opportunity, I insisted we should get his wife’s involvement as well. And so we set up a meeting with both our spouses along....

While driving over to meet him, I remembered this call from bro. Mani over the handphone …

Mani:   soooo, we are going to meet aah?

Me: yes .. your wife is going to be there..?

Mani: Yes, but I want to tell you something first before we meet, ok?

Me: Er.. yeah.. sure.. what is it?... anything?

Mani: Yah .. my wife... err ..she's not Indian ok. . actually, she's Chinese.

Me (thinking hard ..): . . .Oh(?) …yeah okaaaaay .  aand ….?

Mani: …and er.. just don’t want you to be surprised when you meet her.

Me: oh.. .ok no problem bro mani . ..of course not.. will see you soon.

Click.

Paused silence....

Linda (in the car with me), and gathering from the conversation was equally stunned , somehow as it didn’t occur to me (that moment) maybe I should have also offered the same courtesy(?).. er my wife not chinese but Indian,… but it was too late now.

Hmm.. ... awkward .. ..

Yeah we did up meet after all and it still brings a smile  whenever i think of it...

(Oh btw.. please don’t ask about my ‘solution’ for hair growth…. that’s another story altogether)

The end.
18.10.09

* I have come to realize most mixed raced couples in M'sia are typically Chinese girl with Indian/ or others variety. It is more uncommon to see a Chinese guy with an Indian girl. Fun fact!

err Duck .. Chicken ? no its Ox tail stew... yummzz