The back-splash.

So we decided to renovate and extend the kitchen and boy was it a steep learning curve for me. Didn’t realize these kitchen cabinets can price out a small car, but yeah (muah) had to bite the bullet (next time just smack me silly ok!! ). Terms like facial ( aren’t those er.. , never mind), back splash, peninsula, and yes carcass (don’t ask!! ).

After some sleepless nights pondering how it will all turn out (color schemes etc etc, can you spell STRESSED??) we decided on ( and not until a few minor wars!! ) a combination back splash which had some white patterned 2'x1' tiles interspersed with some expensive (1'x1') designer glass tiles which we bought from another store.

Yesss, our very own design-invention. (Btw back splash is the wall tiles between the upper cabinets and the lower table top, about 2 feet in height. Function? Totally NONE, only purely aesthetic$$.)

So finally, the contractor got around to doing that back splash and much to our distress our carefully laid out design on paper (together with exact measurements) COULDN'T WORK ; the two different tiles didn’t match in height, (the 2x1 tile and the 1x1 ) even though both were supposedly 1 foot, there was a slight variation, and that made the joining(s) a problem. The pattern would not run seamlessly.

Aargh.

But somehow, through some ingenious craftsmanship the tiler made it run like how it was meant to. (I was elated enough to give him a big tip). Our problem solved!! But the next day when we came to admire the back splash, our hearts sank as we noticed the glass tiles had scratches all over them, not deep scratches, but visible enough to notice. The gaps between each glass tile were filled with a white filler and obviously, when he sanded it down, he didn’t realize the glass would scratch. This beautiful work was undone by same wonderful fella who just simply did not realize the delicate nature of glass.

Sigh. Double sigh.

However the patterned back splash did look good and I guess no one would really notice the scratches unless we told them to look closely.

But we knew.

And it totally changed (frustrated more like it) how we viewed our masterful design(!!) - ok I exaggerate. But here is the thing, if ONLY we could block out the scratches from our MINDS, we would be able to appreciate the form. After all, from a distance the entire wall of back splash didn’t look bad at all; and the scratches were really not so noticeable.

But for now, when we look at the back splash, all we pick out is .. you know what lah.

But life is often like that isn’t it? We just want every ‘tile’ to perfectly ‘fit’ with how we imagine things SHOULD be, but then the surprises hit us hard. Almost by default, we have this innate ability, to examine our situations, our relationships, our business, work, family, and magnify those tiny ‘scratches’ and then we forget to appreciate all that is RIGHT and GOOD going on in our lives. Yeah we do it effortlessly too.

Aaah.. such suckers for pain.

I guess at some point I could venture to see how (and if) we could polish off those scratches like how they do when wrist-watches are scratched. But for now I'll just need to re-frame the whole episode as a reminder that in this journey called life, nothing is simply perfect nor permanent. We shouldn't set the bar so high; instead we should just loosen up, take a STEP BACK,

,or two!

or three(!),

maybe even FOUR(!!) STEPS BACK

and  

THEN ONLY APPRECIATE .. 

all that is right before us; the BIG PICTURE, it looks good for us, and OUR back splash, well, it ain’t so bad either

But to appreciate it ( and life, in general) remember not to look too closely.

Signing off for now..